Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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