hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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