I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
