Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Sober January is a disaster.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
