When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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