I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
