physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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