thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize