I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
