The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
