...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize