I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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