Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
