you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
