is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
