Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You're completely useless in the revolution.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
