gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
