Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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