Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
