I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize