I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
please come you make the beer taste better
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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