Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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