I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
