I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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