Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
