Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
