So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
