i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
