Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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