My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
