I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
