I should be sponsored by Trojan
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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