So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
