Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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