But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
