dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
