I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
