In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
