jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
