I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
