walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
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