He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
