Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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