i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
