i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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