I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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