They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize