If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
