I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
