Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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