Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
God I need to hump something, right now.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize