he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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