so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize