Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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