the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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