I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize