She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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