just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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