why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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