That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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