he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
