butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
3 2 1 whiskey
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
