Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Found your dick twin last night
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize