All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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