so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
