He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
