THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
