He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
