Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
