but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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