can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
