let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
