I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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