So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
nutella sex= disaster
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
