What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
