I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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