Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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