The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
