i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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