well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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