Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
