he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
