Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
