I want to make a zoo with you.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
