If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
