I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
